A Harsh Appraisal of Annabeth Goes to Goode
by FandomsForeva
Summary: For everyone who read one of these stories and wanted to scream, "Why! WHY!"


**Last I checked, I was a 13-year-old girl. And I'm definitely glad that my hair is not gray. And I think that we can all agree that if I was Rick, then I would be living the high life in the Bahamas or somewhere else awesome. **

**I hope that this is helpful to everyone. I don't mean to insult anyone, I mean to be funny. Read and Review! **

The Popular Slut

The Myth: All of these characters are very different in motivation and character.

**Exhibit A: **Hey, my name's Cara. I have gorgeous blue eyes and brown hair, and a body that makes all the boys drool. I have to go talk to my 4 different boyfriends now, but when I get back, I'll tell you all about the most amazing boy. OMG, I've _got_ to tell you about this guy. He's like, literally the hottest guy I've ever seen, ever. Personalities don't matter at all. I just want him in my pants, like, right now, because I can totally manage having 5 boyfriends. He's got the best body, like, ever. There's no way he has a girlfriend, he's just playing hard to get. I'm going to sway my hips as much as I can to make the boys drool now. I love wearing short shorts and shirts that show my boobs. Swaying hips now! Oh, look the geeky boys are drooling. Like I would ever go out with them! Got to go, Percy's walking down the hall with his lame friends. *hobbles off in spike heels.*

The Reality: All of these characters are pretty much the same, but at least they're funny to read. But at least try to make them have some individuality.

The Disgusting Jock

The Myth: Popular boys are very different, in what they like and why they want Annabeth with them.

**Exhibit A: **I need to go talk to that blonde over there. I think her name's Annabeth or Anniebell or something. I just call her BB, for Big Boobs. She claims to have a boyfriend, but everyone knows she's just turning everyone down waiting for me. I just want to shag her a few times and dump her, like all those other girls I dated. Wow, there was this one scandal before when I was the dumpee, so I have to date as many girls as I can and dump them to get my rep back. Oh, look! She's coming this way! I'm going to force myself on her by kissing her right now, because that's totally appropriate.

The Reality: There's no way that these people would exist in an actual school situation, but again, they're slightly interesting to read about. Again, try to make them a little unique.

Percy's Guy Friends

The Myth: These characters are very logical, and much smarter than Percy.

**Exhibit A: **My friend Percy just showed me this picture of his so called "girlfriend," who was totally hot. He's been talking about her and claiming to be dating her for months, but everyone knows that she's fake. He's just making her up to get the popular slut of his back. I mean, a hot, popular guy have an equally hot girlfriend? That makes no sense! Percy must be hiring an actor to pretend to be his girlfriend, because he's the kind of person who would do that. Either that, or he's become creepily good at Photoshop. And all of those pictures of his friends who go to summer camp with him? They don't exist either! Everyone knows that over the summer, popular Percy's a friendless loser who sits in his room all day and pines for his glory days in school. Whoa, who's that blonde who looks eerily similar to the one in Percy's picture and is now approaching him? I've got to tell her not to bother Percy by screaming at her and calling her a faker! I mean, it's totally the only solution. Hang on, they are dating? How come Percy never told me?

The Reality: Exaggerating the Jocks and Sluts to the point of senselessness is okay, because it's funny. But something that I know a lot of people hate is when Percy's friends, whom he trusts and likes, are totally illogical and stupid when it comes to the idea of Percy having a girlfriend. At least infuse a tiny bit of logic into your writing, please. 3

Percy's Girl Friend (who has a crush on him)

The Myth: They are such angst-filled, original characters!

**Exhibit A: **I gazed dreamily at my friend Percy. He has these beautiful muscles, green eyes that will make you melt, and this amazing crooked smile. I guess that I have a bit of a crush on him. I mean, who wouldn't? He's so nice, and funny, and hot. And I don't need to worry about him already being in a relationship, because every time he claims to have a girlfriend, he's lying. Wait, who's that girl kissing him? His girlfriend? And who are all these new people who know him so well? His camp friends? Wow this is so confusing! I'm really nice and Percy trusts me, but now I'm going to try to ruin their happiness and break them up. I mean, I'm probably better than her, and Percy would be just as happy with me! I've known him longer! Oh wait, I haven't. Sighhh…I guess this is hopeless. *Falls in love with Connor Stoll or Will Solace right about…now.*

The Reality: They're fun characters to have, if a little overused, but keep in mind that even if Annabeth has known Percy for years longer, this doesn't really matter in who will make him happier. And please, someone who tries to ruin Percabeth totally does NOT deserve Connor Stoll.

School Subjects

The Myth: These subjects make sense.

**Exhibit A: **I'm going to go to Marine Biology, where we have a huge fish tank, while Annabeth goes to Architecture. Other than there two subjects, we have the whole day together. Before our electives, we have gym, where we've been doing sword fighting. Well actually, Marine Biology is one of my electives, and my other one is swimming. We have this awesome Olympic-sized pool and 5 diving boards! Also, we have Greek as our language class.

The Reality: First of all, there's no way that electives like Marine Biology and Architecture exist in a Manhattan public school. In addition, the Olympic swimming pool is illogical. I mean, where would a public school get funding for something like that? Also, there's no way that two students would have almost every subject together. And it's actually illegal to practice sports like sword fighting and wrestling in gym. Finally, Percy and Annabeth know Ancient Greek, which is closer to Latin then Modern Greek. Also, why are the Greek teachers always incompetent or wrong about something? You have to have credentials to teach a language.

The Gods

The Myth: Never OOC. Ever.

The Reality: Why is Poseidon always laid back and all "my son's found happiness, awesome, that's all I care about" while Athena's like, "MY DAUGHTER DATING THAT SEA SPAWN! I MUST BLAST HIM NOW! KILL KILL KILLLLLLL!" Poseidon hates Athena as much as she hates him. I feel like this characterization of Athena and Poseidon kind of has to do with gender roles, because the girls acting like they're permanently on PMS and the guys being all laid back is a common theme (i.e. Annabeth, Katie Gardner, Thalia.) And how come the gods are always coming down and talking to their children? Remember the ancient laws, everyone. Finally, all those stories where a god starts dating one of the demigods? Uh, no. The gods do not date demigods. They laugh at their problems and use them as pawns in their games.

Cell Phones

Cell Phone's POV: Wow, I guess that demigods can carry me around now. Huh, I guess that I'm not a huge monster flare anymore. Must have missed that memo. Okay, whatever. Commencing calling!

Grammar

This is the last thing that I will say. There is no excuse for bad grammar. If you're using a keyboard, then you never should use abbreviations like "u" for "you," or "BTW" for "by the way." In addition, you should remember the enter and tab keys. They are your friends! Remember the basic rules of grammar when it comes to paragraphs, because trust me, no one likes reading one giant mass of words. Try to follow all the basic rules of grammar, period.


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